Bella DePaulo

Single and flourishing: Transcending the deficit narratives of single life

  • Social Sciences (miscellaneous)
  • Social Psychology
  • Health (social science)
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AbstractFrom the couples‐centered perspective that has dominated public discourse and scholarly literature, the values and interests of coupled people are the implicit standard against which single people are judged, resulting in deficit narratives of single life. From that perspective, single people are “alone” and “unattached,” the important people in their lives are mere substitutes for a romantic partner, and their families, if recognized at all, are described as “alternative” family forms. From a singles‐centered perspective, single life can be a psychologically rich life of freedom and autonomy, where people can chart their own life course, and value “The Ones” rather than “The One.” Solitude can be savored rather than feared, and family, intimacy, and love encompass far more than just nuclear family, sexual intimacy, and romantic love. A singles‐centered perspective recognizes systems of inequality that disadvantage single people and privilege coupled people.

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